I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
