I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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