i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
