We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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