Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
