are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i think i just lost a toe
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
