So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
