just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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