If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I stole a fireplace last night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
