Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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