if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
