Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
