I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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