I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
accomplished twins. life is a go
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
