Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
