You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
