There was a lot of him and a little penis
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
