well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
