I could have mohawked her pubes.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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