Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
