"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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