Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
