And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
