the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
