Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
