I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize