sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
