you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I hate all girls vehemently.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
