Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
