rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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