I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
