if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
