walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
