do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
