69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
