No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
