if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
