im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
