whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
All the doctor said was why
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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