The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
