i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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