she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So squirting runs in the family.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
