I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
