I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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