too bad you live with your parents still
that's an acceptable place to lick
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
