Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm really busy with my period
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