I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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