Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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