I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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