I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
